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Joke of the Day

"I used to speak in Fleetwood Mac quotes, but I stopped... ...and I'm never going back again."

"What does PETA stand for? People Eating Tasty Animals"

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"What did the grape say after the elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little whine."

"What is red and bad for your teeth? A Brick."

"""Is Phil coming tonight?"" ""Phil Smith or Phil that has the eyesight of a bird?"" *suddenly a man runs face first into the sliding glass door*"

"The UK is horrified by even the slightest glaze of snowy weather. I ordered a bowl of Frosted Flakes this morning and they closed the roads."

"I would love to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle... But I can't afford all the shirts."

"Did you hear about the guy who jumped off a tall building and fell through a manhole? He commited sewercide"

"I just realized that my sex life is like my movie habits. I stick it in, lean back, and fall asleep halfway through."