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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac with tourettes? He was up all last night wondering if there is a cunt."

"What do you call a little Lannister when winter finally comes? Peter Shrinklage"

"Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!"

"Last night I tried to go out for an Italian Meal, but there was a huge, fat woman standing in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta."

"You hate me? Well okay, grab a chair and wait for me to care."

"What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one that you have to care for and nurture for 18 years."

"How did the leper hockey game end? There was a face off in the corner."

"What do vegetables watch when they're horny? Corn"

"""We don't serve time travelers here"" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"My friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo I just had to put my foot down."