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Joke of the Day

"The lady behind me in line at Target was frustrated I was writing a check, so I got out a feather pen and ink bottle and did it right."

"[breakup] Who should get the cat? ""I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"" {3 weeks later} Can you tell? ""Nope"""

"When life hands you a komodo dragon suddenly the times you got lemons seem pretty cool."

"What do you call bovine masturbation? Beef stroganoff!"

"What do we want? ""A CURE FOR TOURETTES!!!"" When do we want it? ""FUCK!!"""

"The tip of my tongue is sore, and I just can't think of why that is."

"IF you're NOT Handsome enough........ http://imgur.com/364BbQf"

"When Ariel the mermaid gives a blowjob to Prince Eric... is that Fellate Of Fish?"

"What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti? Pesto chango"

"I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation of having your dad pick up the landline phone and start dialing while you're talking on it"