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Joke of the Day

"I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation of having your dad pick up the landline phone and start dialing while you're talking on it"

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"A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn are on an island The Norwegian shoots the other two."
"When did you find out Santa wasn't real? For me it was when I noticed he had the same birthmark on his cock as my uncle."
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"My son had a really terrible experience while camping last weekend It was in tents"
"When the devil buys your soul he makes you sign a contract because even though he is pure evil he has an unshakable respect for tort law."
"Weird stuff happens to me on Thursday the 12th and Saturday the 14th, too."
"Why did the picture go to jail? because it was framed."
"How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs? None. He ""fell""."
"God damn auto correct... Always making me say things I didn't Nintendo"