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Joke of the Day

"I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation of having your dad pick up the landline phone and start dialing while you're talking on it"

"A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them."

"Yo mamas so fat she walked in front of the tv and I missed 3 commercials."

"Been trying to pair my new phone with the Bluetooth in the car and I think it's easier to get pandas to mate."

"What do you do if you come across a tiger? Wipe it off and apologise."

"30% of Satan's workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing."

"There really should be awards for getting out of bed."

"A Baby Whale asks his father where he came from... His father says, ""My penis, son."" ""Oh, thanks Dad"" ""You're Whalecum"""

"Mark Zuckerberg came up with the idea for Facebook when he was at a party & a racist uncle wrote a bible quote on a painting then poked him"

"""Excuse the mess; we had guests,"" I graciously explain, leaving out the ""five months ago"" part."