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Joke of the Day

"[breakup] Who should get the cat? ""I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"" {3 weeks later} Can you tell? ""Nope"""

"Angelina's Twins Photographed In Public For First Time"

"Breaking Bad joke (credit to edrubio6) Skyler: Hey, Walt, wanna hear a joke? Walter: Okay. Skyler: Knock kno- Walter: I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"

"I just got a text from a woman I know that said only ""we z"". Did she just ask me to sleep with her in three letters? Nicely done!"

"If water is h20, what is ice H2O^3"

"I was thinking about becoming a Muslim, I met a guy online that told me I could get a free vest if I signed up."

"Men are like soap operas. They're fun to watch but don't believe everything you hear."

"Want to have a haircut like Jesus? Just ask for the ""What Would Jesus 'Do!"""

"What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty."

"9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!? Yo, evolution: You missed one.."