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Joke of the Day

"Probably just one for the Irish but who knows.. What's the difference between an apple and an orange? You can't get an apple bastard."

"The ISIS have recruited a new rapper... They're calling him the real Islam shady!"

"What do you call citizens of Florida who eat at Chick-Fil-A? Gay-ters"

"how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten tickles"

"It's hard to explain a pun to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally."

"What do you call a 12 year old protein? A pretein"

"I use words like ""acquiesce"" and ""ubiquitous"" in daily conversation and then I throw in a ""for reals yo"" just to stay mysterious."

"Selfies? In my day we stared in a mirror and then felt ashamed."

"Top Five Accountant Taboos: 5. Unreconciled difference 4. Doesn't foot & crossfoot 3. No journal entry support 2. Cooking the books 1. Sex"

"I'm sorry I'm late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the f**k he was protecting his eyes from."