78823

Joke of the Day

"[teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] ""Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty"" OMG THIS IS SO ME"

"Almost arrested for drugs and rape ""I didn't take the drugs, i feed the drugs to the girls than raped them"" -Bill cosby"

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, look what's telling me that."

"Why is Smurfette the only smurf who recycles? She's the only one with a blue box."

"I had loads of bird seed as well as loads of parrots with headaches. Trying to hold onto all the bird seed but the parrots ate 'em all"

"What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love"

"[Doctor office] -How are you feeling? -Not good. -Any side effects from the medication? *cries tears of fire* -Now that you mention it..."

"I sexually identify as an attack helicopter. Because I explode on impact."

"My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead."

"Doctors gave me an IQ test at the hospital. The results were negative."