78789

Joke of the Day

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I knew should've put the oven on aloha setting."

"Why does the mushroom have a lot of friends? He's a fungi"

"Me: Forgive me father I have sinned Priest: Get out of my house M: But it's a big sin P: *sigh* Speak child M: I broke into your house"

"Anonymous declared war on ISIS! They'll never know what hit em..."

"I think my girlfriend would be a great presidential candidate, Because she's so awesome at bringing up shit from the past."

"Marriage is like a pack of cards... Marriage is like a pack of cards: all you need at the start are two hearts and a diamond, but you end up wishing you had a club and a spade..."

"Why do girls keep giving me their fax numbers?"

"What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News? A bad news bear"

"I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish."

"Password not accepted. I just decided to buy something on-line and I needed to create a new password. I used the word ""mypenis"" but it was not accepted. They said it needed to be longer."