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Joke of the Day

"I think my girlfriend would be a great presidential candidate, Because she's so awesome at bringing up shit from the past."

Next Joke
 
"Which year is the most popular? 1969"
"ME: you don't look anything like your profile photo TINDER DATE: LOL no, that's my pug, Arthur *silence for 10mins* ME: is Arthur coming or"
"How many introverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Why does it have to be a group activity?"
"When do computers go to sleep? When it's internight."
"Why doesn't, ""I have a headache!"" work for when I don't want to mow the yard?"
"So my girlfriend asked me the other day ""Don't you know where the G Spot is?"" And I said yeah of course I know where the G spot is. It is between the F Spot and the H spot."
"A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave because they are now aware of the added danger that has been added to the environment."
"I hate pebbles! They are a bitch"
"Did you hear the Zodiac is turning himself in? He didn't appreciate the comparisons to Ted Cruz."