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Joke of the Day

"The dent ""I noticed you've got a dent on your car?"" ""Yeah."" ""Oh. Did you drink too much last evening?"" ""Yes, I did."" ""I see. So your wife had to drive you home?"" ""Exactly."""

Next Joke
 
"Me: Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you unders... Dr:(removes stethoscope) Really? Everytime?"
"Doctor Doctor Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?"
"I tried to sell Ikea my new range of combat furniture. It wasn't going well, so I decided to chair the meeting. A couple of minutes later, it was all-out wardrobe."
"I was constipated once... ...nowhere near as shitty as diharea tho..."
"My mom is the queen of cheesy jokes and her favorite: "" what do you call a deer with no eyes?"" "" no idear"""
"Q: What do giraffes have that no other animal has? A: Baby giraffes."
"I'm so lazy, I'll only walk my fingers through your hair."
"What do you get when you mix Fascism and Communism? I don't know, that's why I was asking you."
"Who are the worlds fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds"