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Joke of the Day
"What is the nastiest bun of them all A *cinna*bun"
Next Joke
"My jokes are still in alpha. Hopefully soon they'll get beta."
"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo, and Roberto, you take lookout."
"Perfect one night stand: Amish person. No internet access. No phones. In the heat of passion they'll whisper the secret to apple butter."
"Me: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: I don't drink. Me: Then can I just give you $7.50 to talk with me for a few minutes?"
"Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!"
"My wife has the cutest crow's feet. And the strongest little crow beak. My wife is a crow. Her name is Leah."
"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver."
"When somebody sends me a ""k"" text, I assume they forgot the rest of ""fuc_ you"", so I make sure to correct them."