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Joke of the Day

"A Muslim, A Commie, and an Illegal Alien walk into a bar.. and the bartender says, ""what can I get you Mr. President?"""

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."

"Einstein married his cousin Esla Even his marriage was relative."

"I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out But they were all booked"

"Kids go as the devil and bigfoot on Halloween all the time, but I go as a pedophile and suddenly I'm a weirdo."

"One of my students told me he was drinking formic acid to settle his indigestion. After all, I suppose it is an *ant* acid."

"Hey have you ever tried puppy love? Yeah but it doesn't work there assholes are too small."

"How does Super Mario contact his dead brother? Using a Luigi board!"

"Based on how much my bones and joints pop when I work out, I'm pretty sure I'm 80% rice krispies."

"I like my lovers like I like my golf score Hand drawn, messy, and totally unconvincing."