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Joke of the Day

"Kids go as the devil and bigfoot on Halloween all the time, but I go as a pedophile and suddenly I'm a weirdo."

"Did you hear how Jared Fogel lost his first 40 pounds? He dumped his girlfriend."

"I'm never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat."

"I was sitting in traffic today and I got run over."

"2 guys walk into a gay bar... and the bartender asks one of them, ""Why the long face?"" The guy answers, ""My eyes are up here."""

"Why does #BLM make so many spelling mistakes? Because they got the whites out."

"None of my boyfriends even know they're dating me."

"A spider crawled across my leg while I was driving and of course that fcuker survived the crash."

"girlfriend asks you to get wine: You're getting laid wife asks you to get wine: You're getting yelled at"

"My Version Of Flirting! My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive and hoping they're braver than I am."