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Joke of the Day

"Dealer: You followed? Geologist: No man. Its cool. *dealer opens trenchcoat and metamorphic rocks fall out Geologist: Gneiss... Gneiss"

"Ways to make your woman happy. 1. Cook for her. 2. Surprise her with hugs & kisses. 3. Hide a lion in her apartment then rescue her."

"I think you are amayonazing! I'd take it as a condiment."

"My phone just changed, 'calendar' to 'cake radar' and now I really wish I had that."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off"

"Why did the thalidomide man get stopped going through customs? He was caught in the possession of small arms"

"For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don't even want it in my garbage."

"what do you call a gay dyslexic? a dyxlixic"

"Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know."

"[Poor Taste] What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."