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Joke of the Day

"I'm 10 times more likely to get mugged in Colorado than I am in New York City. Because I don't live in New York City."

"sucks to be a bad guy in the teenage mutant ninja turtle world like ""who stopped u"" ""turtles"" ""huh"" ""no they were like faster than normal"""

"What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."

"I've started making jokes about sodium and potassium. I think I've finally got the NaK of it."

"What is it that separates humans from animals? The Mediterranean Sea"

"A Jew boy asks his poppa for fifty dollars... Poppa Jew says ""Forty dollars, well what do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"Did you know that God is rich? Yeah, back in Israel he made a prophet."

"Why do i need to take English class in school hell George Bush became president, and he only knew 50 word. The last one being ""shoe"""

"Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking intense."

"Off to the DMV. Time for new license pic. Gonna be really drunk for it. If i ever get pulled over the cop will think i always look like that"