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Joke of the Day

"Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking intense."

"I have a sore throat, a sinus headache, a paper cut, and I miss my kitties. No one has suffered as much as I have on a Friday."

"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."

"What can jelly beans do that you can't? Come in different colors."

"You'r mum... ...is so **poor** she can't even pay attetntion."

"Eating spicy food is like expressing your love to someone who has no interest in you... you always get burned in the end."

"What do you call a kid that is afraid of the dark? Racist"

"14: what could happen? Me: you could get her pregnant. 14: im not comfortable putting my dingaling in her thingaling Me:*writes suicide note"

"I've been jogging for 6 minutes & there are, literally, 9 vultures circling above me."

"Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan."