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Joke of the Day
"My ex has made me dinner.. *gives a bit to the dog first*"
Next Joke
"When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk? - just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings"
"The door is closed? I want in. The door is open? I want out. Actually I just want to sit in the door frame itself. - Pets"
"Personally, I don't believe in ""bros before hoes"" or ""hoes before bros"" There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis if you will."
"What did Saturn tell it's moons when they started getting too far away? ""Titan up!"""
"Where do you drown hipsters? In the mainstream"
"You can't say Happiness without... ... Penis."
"Spent an extra 7 bucks on gas trying to get it to stop at an even amount"
"If I work security at the Samsung store, does that make me a Guardian of the Galaxy?"
"A lady came up to me in the middle of the street asking for help So I gave her my AIDS"