218104

Joke of the Day

"The door is closed? I want in. The door is open? I want out. Actually I just want to sit in the door frame itself. - Pets"

"Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal."

"When the grammar nazi learned his friend had less than 6 months to live. *fewer"

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? One can't, but two can."

"Hey girl, are you bacteria? Because I know I need you but I have no idea why."

"SON: Is it true trees kill more people than wild animals do? [tree hiding in broom closet tenses up] DAD: Nonsense. [tree sighs in relief]"

"This summer, a rom-com dares to ask the question, ""Can a 9 date an 8?"""

"How many Chernobyl survivors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They already glow."

"I believe in ten years, gifts for newly born baby would be a SIM card and a cell phone."

"How many sovereign citizens does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're too afraid of the electricity."