78268

Joke of the Day

"The captcha required for submitting isn't working. Since I post every few days, my human can do them for me. ERROR: CAPTCHA DETECTED."

"What did the scarecrow say before committing suicide? ""That's the last straw!"" *^I'm ^sorry.* [UsagiMimi](http://www.reddit.com/user/UsagiMimi/) helped me refine the wording."

"My grandma still doesn't need glasses... My grandma is over 80 years old and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks straight from the bottle."

"Potato chips bragging about having less fat - I don't think you understand people who eat you."

"Your beer is like having sex in a canoe and living on a pacific island surrounded by rising sealevels... It`s too fucking close to water!"

"I totally owned the mosh pit at the One Direction concert last night."

"I remember when social networking was something that happened in person. How awkward."

"What is a communist's favorite fabric? Linen."

"What is the opposite of paranoia? Thinking you are following someone."

"Every Time a Child Isn't Conceived During Sex... ... It's usually the result of a short cumming"