60726

Joke of the Day

"My grandma still doesn't need glasses... My grandma is over 80 years old and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks straight from the bottle."

"Do you know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I always make sure to buy high quality toilet paper... If you get the cheap stuff, you'll pay for it in the end."

"Two Fish Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"Why was the Amish girl shunned? Too Mennonite."

"the girls who tweet their horoscopes every day are the same girls who get drunk and then cry at parties."

"In other words, 2 percent of household germs kinda like Lysol spray"

"If I had known I was going to have this much shit to do at work today I wouldn't have come in sober"

"When I'm feeling bold in the kitchen, sometimes I'll change up a recipe by forgetting to put in a key ingredient"

"The silent ""p"" and ""s"" in ""Corps"" are why I have hardcorps trust issues."