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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says ""Hey! You know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies: ""ARRR it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor"

"How do you weigh a hipster? In Instragramm"

"Why did the gay guy cross the road? Because he is gay and the people on the other side of the road hate him and asked him to leave."

"Hungry Hungry Hippos must get tired of eating the same thing? White spheres, again?"

"A girl Unfollowed Me !!! A girl unfollowed me wen i replied ""nice one"" to her tweet.I guess i should have said ""nice two"". ;)"

"The ACLU has informed me that Mother's Day is too inclusive. So Happy Everyone Gay Pride AIDS Awareness Aboriginal Illegitimate Child Day!"

"Just got kicked out of Chipotle for knowing what I wanted when I got to the front of the line."

"My gym sent me home for following their motto it's confusing, they need to change it to ""go hard and go home"""

"Knock Knock St. Patricks Day edition. Knock knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you would open the door I'm freezing out here!"