26294

Joke of the Day

"Why did the gay guy cross the road? Because he is gay and the people on the other side of the road hate him and asked him to leave."

"The economy is SO bad... ...that Americans are emailing Nigerians and asking for help with money."

"My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd. I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!"

"Calm down, people on FB who ran the Detroit marathon. I'd be running a shit load too if I were in Detroit."

"I hide my condoms in a box of Nyquil... ...if I use either, I'll blow a load and be asleep in 10 minutes."

"The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it."

"Coworker *parks Prius Coworker 2 *locks bike up Me *bounces by on jumping exercise ball made of recycled tires* POSERS!"

"I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. This one just told me i was adopted :("

"The only difference between politics and religion is whether the hope is for this life, or the next."

"A man was pulled over for speeding... The officer says: Where is the fire at? The man replies: it's back there, I'm just going to get the water! (This is a true story, my uncle really said this)"