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Joke of the Day

"I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band I have a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too."

"Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars."

"I went into a bar and ordered a Bin Laden Two shots and splash of water."

"""I think Esmerelda's in trouble!"" ""What makes you so sure, Quasimodo?"" ""I have a..."" ... *sunglasses* ... *turns to camera* ... hunch."""

"I wouldn't mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren't coming from my wife."

"Have a burning hatred for questions and people? YOU could be a medical receptionist!"

"The secret of a long marriage is accepting the utter euphoria you would feel from strangling your spouse to death isn't worth life in jail."

"[movie theater] Her: *Hands me popcorn bag* Can you put this down? Me: *grabs bag* You stupid, overpriced, salty piece of shit!"

"Why is my Chinese girlfriend so bitchy? Well it's true, you are what you eat."

"[OC] What type of music do Irish people listen to? Pubstep"