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Joke of the Day

"""I think Esmerelda's in trouble!"" ""What makes you so sure, Quasimodo?"" ""I have a..."" ... *sunglasses* ... *turns to camera* ... hunch."""

"What did the thunder say when it understood the joke? I feel so enlightninged!"

"What is tangled rope in space called? Astro-knot"

"Hey check out this new candle I got. -Sweet. What flavor is it? I think you mean 'what scent is it?' *with a mouthful of candle wax* -What?"

"I can tell the way my kids inherited my sarcasm by the way I want to punch them in the face every time they use it."

"Well, when we ordered nachos, you ate all the ones in the middle with the most cheese, but no... I have no idea who set your car on fire."

"What does a Spanish speaking ghost say when they like you? Mi Ghosta!!"

"[in ambulance] ""Sir, do you know your blood type?"" ""Yeah [coughs & points to wound] red."""

"I heard my ex girlfriend needs a new kidney I'm not worried, her body hasn't rejected an organ in 25 years. -Tom Cotter"

"[me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party] me: ""how did we both fit in this lmao"""