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Joke of the Day

"[movie theater] Her: *Hands me popcorn bag* Can you put this down? Me: *grabs bag* You stupid, overpriced, salty piece of shit!"

"Twitter is perfect for men, because with men brevity is key. Beyond 140 characters they know they're going to say something wrong."

"What do you call A Bohemian Lumberjack? ...A *Blogger.* ( I'll see myself out.. :)"

"When is the only time a woman says something smart? When her sentence starts with ""A wise man once said"""

"I say waiter there's a fly in my soup! Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!"

"Confucius say... ...sex on beach is like American beer, very near water."

"What do you call a banker who is also a skilled fisherman? A loanely master-baiter."

"There's a really annoying moth in my room. It's been on my Silence of the Lambs poster for ages now."

"why is oral sex better than cake? Because you cannot have your cake and eat it too"

"Parts of a worm: 1) Worm"