127559

Joke of the Day

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"Men should be like coffee: strong, hot and not letting you sleep for the whole night. However, most of them are like copy machines: suitable only for reproduction."

"hy haven't you ever seen any elephants hiding up trees? Because they're really, really good at it."

"Unexpected sex... ....is a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison."

"carpe natem Translate it if you don't know Latin."

"A woman I met had 13 children all named David. When I asked her how she calls just one of them, she said, ""Oh that's easy; I just call them by their last names."""

"What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt? Lacoste intolerant."

"Him: She's always doing magic tricks Therapist: Is that true? Me: Check your pocket. [he pulls out a piece of paper with 'NO' written on it]"

"Michael Cera, in a public restroom, pinned to the opposite wall by the force of the hand-dryer."

"Vin Diesel's full name is Vintage Dieselengine."