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Joke of the Day

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"Just replaced the cat litter with 44 packages of pop rocks... And now we wait."

"New sea world commercial brags that their whales live just as long as wild whales. Personally I'd want a shorter life if I lived in a bowl."

"Alright! Everyone that got a DM containing a map to my treehouse, meet there in 15 mins. Those who didn't, maybe consider being nicer to me."

"Oxymoron Black people"

"""When I was younger they all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian,"" said Dane Cook. ""Nobody's laughing now!"""

"Where do Orcish cows go to hang out? *Moooooooo*rdor."

"What do you call a drug-addicted duck? A quackhead."

"Masturbation is an excellent skill to have. Done right, it sure comes in handy."

"I found if you put the right stickers on your cooler and walk as fast as you can they'll let you in any part of the hospital you want."