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Joke of the Day

"I was kicked out of mime school once. I hadn't put the safety lock on and my finger guns went off. The whole class took cover in their boxes"

Next Joke
 
"Shhh don't talk, I'm imagining you smart."
"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
"My new girlfriend just found out that I'm 42. She said, ""You told me that you were 28 and a half!"" I said, ""I am if you think about it."""
"What did the doctor say to the angry midget? ""I'm going to ask you to be a little patient."""
"*spits out coffee* VERB IS A NOUN"
"Why does the Illuminati have to be the bad guy all the time? Why can't they just be the Illuminice?"
"Some people are flirting with my delete & block button."
"If you practice Yoga, but are not a vegetarian, You're just a poser."
"On Pedophile Opposite Day they go to army bases to have sex with Majors."