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Joke of the Day

"I predict futuristic fiction will become very popular. Nope, just an example of futuristic fiction. It wasn't that great because that's what futuristic fiction is like."

"Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up"

"Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair."

"Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave."

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months."

"A naked women robbed a bank.... A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face"

"If you're gonna buy me a drink...... At least push my stool in!"

"[at goverment office] hi yes um.. my social security number isnt workimg. i've never once felt secure in a social situation"

"When I go to a restaurant, I stare at the menu for 10 minutes, and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times I've been there."

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!"