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Joke of the Day

"Wife said I should talk to the kids about drugs so I told them how faking a back injury would usually get you some Vicodin."

"No male deserves to win the lottery.. They already won it when they were born."

"Two kids were walking home.... The one kid ask the other, ""Do you believe in the devil?"" The second kid reply's ""Of course not. It's all silly. The devil is like Santa, it's always your Dad."""

"Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell."

"What's Jay-Z's favorite city to perform in? SHEBOY-gan You're welcome"

"Macs ranked best to worst - Fleetwood - book pros - n cheese - klemore"

"Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls."

"A man and his buddy walk out of a bar and see a dog licking himself... One looks to the other and says, ""I wish I could do that!"". His buddy looks at him and says, ""He would probably bite you""."

"What do you call people who aren't Christian? Light, because they're massless."

"Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos? A: They make great anchors!"