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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to Plastic Surgery Patient Anonymous! I see a lot of new faces here and frankly, I'm disappointed."

"So /r/news and /r/The_Donald walk into a bar... [removed]"

"i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13"

"LPT: If you ever find yourself lost in the wild... ...simply misspell the SOS signal and some arsehole will show up within minutes to correct you."

"Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting."

"phones are so much more than just phones nowadays, like they can also be napkins, or paper towels, or tiny depression machines, or napkins"

"How are making love in a boat and Coors Lite similar? They're both fucking close to water,"

"why would you steal a baby at least steal something good like a truck or a dolphin"

"Fisherman got jokes... A little fish humor for everyone. ""Did you do that on Porpoise? Or just for the Halibut?"" ""Oh my Cod, save my Sole!"" ""You sucker, that smelt, so get your bass out of here!"""

"Frederick Fox, hatmaker for the British Royalty, died today. He was one in a milliner."