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Joke of the Day
"Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!"
Next Joke
"[at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here"
"drity What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? Her wedding cake."
"A race between two lesbians and two gays... from NY to FL who wins? NSFW? A - The Lesbians... they are doing 69 the whole way while the two gay guys are still getting their shit pack."
"Sitting with Grandma at the hospital. She noticed me checking my watch and said, ""Go on Dummy. I know brunch is almost over at the tit bar."""
"[marriage counseling] Ginny- He always hides from our problems. Therapist- Is this true? Harry- *puts on invisibility cloak* No."
"To stay safe in a fire, remember the acronym ""DBOF"": Don't Be On Fire"
"There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you."
"Two plates go into a resteraunt One plate says to the other, "" Don't worry I'll pay for the meal."" The other plate replies, "" No dinner is on me."""
"Why is Ariana Grande called Ariana Grande? She is only 5 feet tall. Shouldn't she be called Ariana Petite?"