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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two lonely bastards drinking together? Two bastards."

Next Joke
 
"Babe, your cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, Cuz i want to take you home!"
"NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE Waiter: ahem *points to sign* Me: oh that's fine, I'm not ordering anything"
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea."
"A WWII Joke! What did the German Shepherd say at his Nuremberg trial? ""I was just following odors."""
"One guy trained how to kiss using kiwi So he wasn't confused by neat mustache that Mary had."
"Give a man some punch and he'll drink for a day. Teach a man to punch and he'll smash your face in for using this joke format again."
"If you're worried about not getting a New Year's Eve kiss this year, just remember Valentine's Day is coming up and you're probably going to be alone for that, too."
"Sex therapists have invented a new long lasting, alcohol based, vaginal gel and lubricant. Campaigners have slammed the move saying it could lead to 24 hour minge drinking."
"Bruce Willis pours a can of Red Bull onto his flower bed then drinks 8 gallons of water out of a watering can before realising his mistake"