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Joke of the Day

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea."

"Am I annoying yet? How about now? Now? Now? Now? How about now? Now? Now? Now? Maybe now? Now? Now? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow?"

"So a baby seal walked into a club"

"warning sign on children's alphabet blocks Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive."

"What's the objective of Jewish football? To get the quarterback!"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"i have a very sore throat & your suggestion of a shot of whiskey only helped in the way that i no longer care about my extremely sore throat"

"There are two kinds of people in the world Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"why did sally fall off the swings she pooped herself"

"Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely? A: Because if something happens to her Bill becomes President!"