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Joke of the Day

"NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE Waiter: ahem *points to sign* Me: oh that's fine, I'm not ordering anything"

"My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism."

"What did the inn keeper say to the Big Dipper when he asked if he could rent a room? sorry this is only a four star hotel."

"Black Friday is the Christian holiday where Jesus rose from the grave at 4am to get in line to purchase a discounted HDTV for his Father."

"If we put pictures of lost kids on beer cans instead of milk cartons, we'd find them in about 15 minutes."

"I bought a Delorean R/C car today. I accidentally ran it at full speed. I guess I'll have to wait about 10 years to get it back."

"What's the most sensitive part of a man's body when he's masturbating? His ears."

"Bring a Knife on a date? When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"A hillbilly tells his parents he won't marry his fiance because she is a virgin. ""If she isn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours!"""

"34 of the A-Team have just launched a valiant rescue mission I heard they were just trying to save Face after their last failure, though."