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Joke of the Day

"The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant.. I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence."

Next Joke
 
"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat."
"Women are like public toilets... They're all dirty except for the disabled ones."
"I am in prison for something I didn't do I didn't pay my taxes"
"-Do you take drugs? -No. -Ever tried them? -Never. -You seem very nervous. -I'm just not used to being questioned by a unicorn."
"So I'm holding the door for this Japanese guy... He looks over to me and says ""Sank you!"" Can't believe he just brought up Pearl Harbor like that."
"Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm."
"How to you call midget intercourse ? Microtransaction"
"would love to see a prequel to Titanic where we see Jack completely unable to climb onto a floating pool toy and we all go ""ahh makes sense"""
"What is the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? The Boy Scout came back from camp."