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Joke of the Day
"Don't you dare dry your hands on my decorative towels you piece of shit."
Next Joke
"Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they're concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?"
"When life gives you lemons, Instagram photos of them and add #Lemons, #LemonSwag, and #UJealous."
"What does a black man do when faced with the death penalty? Nigga pleads."
"Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don't like being that guy holding two purses."
"Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?"
"What do they eat for breakfast in africa? Ebola cereal"
"A vegan girl told me that, ""If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor."" In what world is that not totally awesome."
"Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'"
"Jenner If Bruce(now) Caitlyn Jenner is kidnapped, do they put his picture on the side of a half & half bottle?"