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Joke of the Day

"What do they eat for breakfast in africa? Ebola cereal"

"If an officer asks ""do you know why I pulled you over"" ""Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?"" is a bad answer, apparently."

"What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground."

"Why were Popeye's forearms so big? Because Olive Oyl was saving herself for marriage."

"I was called a village idiot today which really upset me. I live in a city."

"Tonight's Golden Globes taught us that, no matter how much you spend on surgery, nobody looks good while sweaty."

"The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house And I thought to myself ""that could've been me"" Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus"

"'I like mouse but I couldn't eat a whole one' - Our sodding cat"

"My Wife's MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it."

"Apple made a bomb It was called the iED"