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Joke of the Day

"WAITER: what can i get you ME: what do you recommend WAITER: i recommend that you tell me what you want to eat"

"A U2 album so shitty, even Android won't give it out for free."

"Went into Dollar Store. Asked for a dollar. Cashier did not give me one. Suing company for false advertising."

"Every 5 seconds, a woman gives birth to a baby. Please, stop this woman."

"Two ladies meet up for coffee... The first lady asks if she came on the bus. The other replies, ""Yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack."" (I work in a hospital, a patient told me this.)"

"I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although what he wants with an ex box I'll never know."

"to cause mass hysteria at a wedding, slowley turn the volum down when the ""shout"" song says ""a litle bit louder now, a litle bit louder now"""

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ...Bad-um Tst"

"Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"" The other fish says ""Holy shit a talking fish!"""

"A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says ""Uno, dos.."" *poof* He disappeared without a tres."