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Joke of the Day

"I have bulimic Alzheimers I always eat too much but forget to throw up."

"""what do we want?"" ""faster Internet!"" ""when do we want it?"". Loading..."

"[JAIL VISITATION] WIFE: I got u a cake ME: U know I don't like sugar W: U need a BREAK, OUT of ur diet M: It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle"

"What does the CEO of Keurig have in common with ISIS? They both hate the French press"

"I wish I was able to say as many things with a simple 'mmmmhhhmmmmm' as your average elderly black woman."

"Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and sleep on the floor"

"The pipes that my plumber installed are leaking... Clearly, he didn't give a flux."

"I'm beginning to think the dark circles that appeared under my eyes in 2008 may not go away."

"What kind of underwear do old people wear? ...Depends."

"I wonder if Taylor Swift ever gets one of her songs stuck in her head and also wants to kill herself"