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Joke of the Day
"""Doctor I think I need glasses!"" ""You certainly do Sir, this is the butchers."""
Next Joke
"My mate with Tourettes was cured after walking into a Gay Bar ""Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!"" He shouted.... He's not said a word since..!!"
"You'd think the police would patrol this 'Knifepoint' place more carefully... Especially with all the rape and robberies that are committed there."
"As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes."
"Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired"
"Have you heard the joke about the cloud? No? Eh, it's way over your head."
"What's another name for a supernova? A POPstar. HAHAHAHA. Living is pain. Unbearable. End me."
"My wife asked me, ""Where's your wedding ring?"" I said, ""I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."""
"I went to the Zoo once. It had only one dog. It was a Shitzu."
"It's too bad the meaning of life is 141 characters."