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Joke of the Day

"Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired"

"Math jokes never work on me I have trouble differentiating them. They aren't an integral part of my life and most of the time they just don't add up."

"I caught my nephew doing drugs with me last night."

"I'm at an age where ""getting lucky"" only means I have the house to myself..."

"Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand."

"What did one Nigerian Prince say to the other? Wanna go phishing?"

"Girls who use tanning beds either have no concept of what they actually look like or have advanced fantasies about being a waffle."

"A seal walks into a club."

"If your playing the guitar just remember one thing Dont finger a minor you could get arrested for that."

"What did the Eskimo say to his wife when she suggested a threesome? ""I'm Inuit."" Credit goes to R. Ebeltoft."