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Joke of the Day

"That thin line between ""I should tweet that"" or ""I should talk to my therapist about that""..."

"For those of you concerned about my upcoming birthday and struggling for ideas as to what to get me this year, I have registered for gifts at the liquor store..."

"Why can't motorcycles go faster? They're two tired."

"Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party? Because he just came to pick up his little sister."

"Why are there more female than male archeologists? They always want to find a new bone."

"Just now, from my dad: Have you heard the new Christmas carol from India? We Vishnu a Merry Krishnas."

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic? When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger."

"My friend has Tourettes. He doesn't have a bank account. He has a swear jar."

"I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said ""Yes!"". I said ""Good, because I'm breaking up with you."""

"Bro:hey how are you? Me: eh, feeling stabby B: B:I'm afraid if I tell you that's not a real word you'll show me what it means. Me: smart"