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Joke of the Day

"Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party? Because he just came to pick up his little sister."

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with.. But I've been tripping all day."

"I tried to buy a new boomerang today but I couldn't throw my old one away."

"My pup has now chewed up 4 welcome mats and I'm beginning to think she's more antisocial than I am."

"If X-Men and Legend of Korra had a crossover what kind of bender would Magneto be? A Fassbender"

"What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill? Hope you're ready for the next episode"

"Ive got an idea for a Halloween party costume... I'll go only in my pants so when people ask what I'm whereing I'll say, "" Im premature ejaculation, so I just came in my pants."""

"Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor."

"When I was a kid, you could go into a corner shop with $1 and come out with 2 cokes, 3 Freedos and a magazine. Nowadays, CCTV everywhere."

"My girlfriend told me that she's sick of me pretending I'm a cat Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a cat. I packed your bags. I want you to go."" Me: ""Wait, are you kicking MEEEOOWWT???"""