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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked ""What do blind people think about when they masturbate?"" I'd be willing to bet that it is something along the lines of ""Who the f*ck is watching me"""

"[talking to life insurance agent] Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money? No thanks."

"Got caught again. Next time I'm stealin alcohol from the neighbor's, I gotta remember not to do it hummin the Mission Impossible theme song."

"What do you call a blowjob from a short person? A low blow"

"What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind? let's jack it."

"Cannibalistically speaking Did you hear about the 12 year old orphan cannibal? He had the family for dinner"

"Two guys talking ""Tell me , have you ever been awakened by a blowjob?"" ""No ,i always sleep with my mouth shut."""

"Why did the otter cross the road? To say ""hello from the otter side"""

"How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares."

"I was going to tell you a joke about an injured deer... ...but it would have been lame."