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Joke of the Day

"Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital? Because he is dead. ^((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))"

"""What's that?"" I call it a 'knife' ""Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"" Gregory, I am about to blow your mind"

"I taught my 4yo how to spell 'beer' so he'll stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge."

"Damn girl, you must be a moped Because I love riding you but I'd be extremely embarrassed if any of my friends saw me on you"

"Cyclists who don't obey the rules of the road should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt."

"If you are under 18 years old please Unfollow me, I have underwear older than you."

"Are you a power tool? Because i'd really like you to screw my holes *Pickup line a woman should use*"

"A man goes on reddit to read some jokes Only to find out that the same jokes keep appearing on every page!"

"(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname... Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute. I just didn't expect it to be so literal though."

"I use my notebook the same way I use my girlfriend. Just flip'em over every period."