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Joke of the Day

"I didnt believe my grandfather got fired from his job as a Crossing guard for theft... But when i got home the signs were there"

"If you're a germaphobe and you know it... wash your hands!"

"I couldn't find you any new tampons. but I managed to pull a few strings..."

"Wait. I'm not cool cuz I'm home on a weekend night? You mean my home I own? With no landlord, neighbors or...parents? Wow, I'm such a loser."

"What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster? - Grandma monster"

"""Half a dozen"" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<"

"Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?"

"Local pharmacy robbed... Local pharmacy robbed tonight. Entire stock of Viagra taken. Police on look out for hardened criminal."

"Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly this joke onto /r/jokes everyday"