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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally mixed my coffee my redbull.. After 15 minutes of driving I realised I forgot my car."

"Wouldn't it be great if twitter had a roped off VIP section where celebrities could keep their boring tweets to themselves?"

"The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else."

"I have been reporting moms on Facebook who brag about how perfect their lives are as fake news."

"How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb? Why the fuck would a blind man need a light bulb?"

"We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober."

"Where did Hitler keep his armies? In Poland, France, and Czechoslovakia."

"A Doe walks into a bar and keeps falling over because does can't walk for shit."

"What did the wolfman say to the sentient AI? I am a were"

"confucious says man who worships the pussy.... puts his thrust in god."