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Joke of the Day

"Due to a tragic ""iTunes on shuffle"" incident, I have had to convince the guys at work that I have a 12yr old daughter they have never met..."

"When I come back in the next life, I would like to come back as a bathroom mirror in a house full of hot women."

"A MILF is a sexy ass mum over 35. If you're 18, you're just an idiot with a baby."

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwomen? - Snowballs :)"

"What do colorblind people say to the unexpected? Well that came out of the purple"

"How was my engagement the same as my divorce? In the end, I settled."

"What kind of woman are the most irrational? The ones with the golden proportions!"

"How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god it."

"Man at the bar... ""...Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy! Woman responds: ""No, I'm Finnish. Finnished with this conversation!"""""

"After Oprah lost all that weight....... .....she was just a Phantom of the Oprah!"