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Joke of the Day

"When choosing a bottle of wine, it's good to pick one with a picture of the animal you'd most like to get drunk with on the label."

"I pulled a real douchie move this morning... your mom's vagina has never been happier."

"What's six inches and not getting sucked today Whitney Houston's crackpipe"

"Please be more careful with your tacos. I just found them in my mouth."

"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night. I was like OMg."

"I don't know, Your Honor. Last thing I remember was the Polaroid picture crying and I was shaking it like a baby andIT WOULDN'T STOP CRYING!"

"Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it's too long."

"What do you do if a gang of clowns attack you? Go for the juggler."

"What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common? They both contain locked up loonies!"

"[hears baby crying in the next room] ""It's ok, I'll go."" [gets in car & goes to a motel]"