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Joke of the Day

"I pulled a real douchie move this morning... your mom's vagina has never been happier."

"I consider myself a practical gentleman. That's why I masturbate in the shower. The cleanup is a breeze. The only trouble is keeping my laptop dry. That's why I bring the umbrella."

"What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space? NASA."

"A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit."

"I bought a new thesaurus It's nothing to write house about"

"I'm a heavy sleeper... Also, a heavy awaker... Okay, I'm fat."

"What is a Juanito? A little Juan"

"Fried potatoes Mashed potatoes Baked potatoes Twice baked potatoes Potato chips -if Bubba grew up on a potato farm instead of a shrimp boat"

"Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum? Too many frames."

"I tried to steal a didgeridoo from a museum... I didgeri-shouldn't-have-done-that. 3 years...."